I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
