You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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