the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
