I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
