It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
