Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
