did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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