So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There's always time for handjobs
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
