ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize