WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
