when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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