you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
