Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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