hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
No subtext here. People are naked.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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