I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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