Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize