yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
