Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
