I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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