it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
