found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
