Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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