RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
