and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
