i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
