I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
