If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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