i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
More tranny stories later!
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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