dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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