i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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