i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
