I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
