So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
