If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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