time to smoke my breakfast
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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