need another drink. this is the easiest way
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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