you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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