I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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