Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize