when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
