Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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