that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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