Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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