The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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