Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
