I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
