he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize