I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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