talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
