quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
