No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Are my feet made of real feet?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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