it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
