i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
