Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
