Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
