I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
