I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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