is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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