She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize