Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
