so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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