its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
