his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize